$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
