Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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