We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
