fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I will be naked everywhere
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
