We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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