so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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