I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
