Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize