I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
