screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize