Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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