No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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