I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
