how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
