Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
