the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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