Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize