Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
