told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
