I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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