Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was born a porn star she said
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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