when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
