So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
