No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
