note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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