Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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