But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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