no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
