Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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