I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
