dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
stop calling my apartment porn island.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
