i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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