Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
