New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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