Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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