And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
