Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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