I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
