elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
