another moral hangover. fuck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
