So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
im on a boat
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