Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
