we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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