People in love make me want to vomit
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
