we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
