when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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