I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
