wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
