I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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