I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
