Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
