Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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