Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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