Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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