do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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