We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
