the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
