apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize