dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
