she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my being single is dangerous.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You ruined the universe
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
