This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
