just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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