you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
whose parrot is this?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
