i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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