he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
